We often say that a child’s IQ is inherited. Smart parents have smart children. If both parents have average IQs, how can their child be highly intelligent?

It’s true that IQ can be inherited.

However, there’s a misconception that IQ cannot be improved and can only be inherited from parents.

Research indicates that a child’s IQ is 70% influenced by genetics, while the remaining 30% can be shaped by the environment.

Behavioral scientist Professor Richard has conducted extensive research on brain development and found that a child’s brain goes through three “peak periods” of development.

This means that children have three opportunities to “become smarter,” and it’s excellent if parents can help their child seize even one of these opportunities.

First Opportunity: Before Age 3

Our brains contain a very important structure called “neurons.”
Essentially, everything we think, decide, contemplate, and problem-solve involves neurons.

When a child is born, their brain’s “infrastructure” is already well-established. As an infant, they have 100 billion neurons!

What does this mean?

It means that our adult brains have roughly the same number of neurons.
Since the child’s “hardware” is ready, let’s start developing the brain.

What are these neurons in a child’s brain for?

These neurons are in an “independent” state, not connected to each other.
Only when points connect to form lines, lines to form planes, planes to form networks, and networks become denser and more closely interlinked does the child’s brain develop better.

So, before the age of 3 is the prime time for neurons to establish connections and “weave the net,” making the child smarter. We shouldn’t waste this period.

Some parents may ask, does this mean we should start developing the child’s intellect and teach them to read and write at this time?

No, no, no!

The child has just arrived in this world and is curious about it, so don’t rush them into recitation and memorization, as it may scare them.

The best thing we can do is to teach them about the world.

If you can resist letting the child play with the phone, watch TV, or immerse in the virtual world too early before age 3, you’ve made a significant contribution to their brain development.

At this time, children need to use sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch to awaken the neurons in their brains and establish connections.

For instance, when a child likes to touch everything, the coordination of their fingers’ sensation, strength, direction, and muscles is reflected in the connections between neurons.

When they curiously watch ants carrying leaves, the neurons responsible for attention in their brain silently connect.

When you play with the child gently, the neural connections related to love and security are also activated.

Therefore, before the age of 3, just let the child get to know and explore the world. The sensations and experiences triggered during this stage will benefit them for life.

Second Opportunity: Age 7

There’s a term called “the change at age 7,” meaning that when a child reaches age 7, their development enters another level.

Experienced parents might noticeably feel that children after 6 or 7 years old change significantly, almost as if they’ve “become a different person.”

This is because, between ages 3 to 7, the number of neurons undergoes “pruning.”

Every time neurons connect, new neural cells grow. Too many, and there’s no room for more.

Those neurons that are rarely used or even never used take up space, so they are “pruned.”

So, what children focus on using between ages 3 to 7 will influence where their attention prefers to be in the future.

For example, if we often read picture books to children and tell them stories, they will be more curious about knowledge and more likely to develop a reading habit later.

However, I don’t recommend “teaching” children knowledge at this stage. For instance, if they clearly dislike it, don’t force them to recognize words, recite, or attend various classes.

If children develop an aversion to learning from a young age, it will be difficult for them to take an interest in learning proactively later. We might need to spend more time and energy supervising them.

Third Opportunity: Age 10

At age 10, the brain undergoes another round of neural “pruning” to make it almost like an adult’s.

After age 10, the biggest characteristic of children is doubt and resistance.
They doubt what adults say, always feeling you are wrong. They resist your commands, always feeling you don’t understand and are blindly directing.
They also become temperamental, displeased with everyone, and if something irritates them, they explode, argue, and create a fuss.

Children between 7 to 10 years old are relatively “quiet” and obedient because they are in an emotional “dormant period.” When they reach adolescence, it becomes an “explosive period.”

Therefore, raising a child around age 10 requires us to guide more and preach less.

Once preaching becomes excessive, children become defiant, and their brains struggle to become rational, easily acting impulsively.

At this stage, our main focus should be on developing the child’s EQ, ensuring their emotions are stable, they don’t overthink, and they don’t act rashly.

At this time, it’s more of a challenge for the parents than the children.

We need to change our way of interacting and communicating with our children promptly so that they are willing to listen to us, willing to learn from our life lessons, and avoid detours.

We can talk more about feelings with our children.

For example: “I raised my voice just now because I was genuinely worried; I’m afraid you might get hurt. If it made you uncomfortable, could you tell me how I should handle this situation next time?”
“I feel ignored when you don’t respond to me. Can you tell me what you’re thinking?”

Children approaching adolescence will gradually distance themselves from us, feeling that they are already adults and don’t want to be controlled like children anymore.

At this time, we need to offer respect, listen, and communicate artfully.

This way, children can comfortably develop their brains.

Children have three opportunities to “become smarter.” At which stage is your child currently?