The first thought of parents who realize that they are out of control is usually “self-blame.” Looking at the frightened child, the first impulse of most parents would be sadness and remorse. Many parents can’t help but make up for the restoration of parent-child relationship after the storm.

Parents seldom reflect and understand themselves, so that the next time they are also impulsive, they will fall into a vicious circle. Therefore, parents should forgive themselves and reconcile themselves with the learning experience mentality, and then they can establish a close parent-child relationship with their children in a relaxed and constructive way.

Reflect on the emotional state at the time

Before rehabilitating your child, why not reflect on the reasons for the loss of control at that time? Is it because of a bad mood at the time? Is it because your body is not feeling well? Or is it because you feel that you have lost patience?

Refresh your thoughts

If you have found the reason for your own temper, the next step is to rethink what you want, and possible solutions such as: ‘I found myself particularly concerned about my child. What kind of child do I want to train?’

Set yourself up

Next time there is a similar situation, you should use cold treatment. For example, if you find yourself getting frustrated, first leave the scene to calm down, or get a drink of water and give yourself time to buffer. You can also meditate to calm down your emotions.

Six steps toward reconciliation

When you have successfully found out why your emotions are out of control, and you have prepared a plan for the next incident, then the next step is to think about how to reconcile with your child.

Be honest with your child about your mistakes

In fact, as long as we acknowledge our mistakes, it is easy for children to forgive us. Parents may wish to kneel down and explain to the child why they have lost their temper. Ask him/her to forgive your impulsiveness and let him know that your emotions have been calmed down and you always love him/her anyway. Encourage your child to express their feelings.

Let the child know the experience you have learned

Parents often lose their temper with their children. Sometimes the child doesn’t even understand what he or she was doing wrong. Therefore, when asking for forgiveness, you may explain to your child the experience you have learned from this reflection. This way, the child will understand your meaning more easily next time.

Ask him/her, what he/she wants mother to do next time

Children like to feel respected. When the child does not listen to you and you get angry with him/her, you may wish to take the initiative to ensure that you will not lose your temper next time. But the same mistake occurs again, the child wants his/her mother to understand? The next time the same thing happens, you don’t want your mother to lose your temper. What do you do?”

Let the child take the initiative to remind you next time

After this incident, you can make a small agreement with your baby. “When your mother loses his temper again, you will remind your mother to “don’t be angry”, okay?” This method can control your emotions and avoid injury. The incident can make the child realize that the mother will be angry and that she is doing something wrong.

Go back to the origin of the matter and talk about things

The child understands that you have lost control of your emotions, but in order to prevent the same stressful event from happening again, parents should remind the child not to make mistakes again. When your mother asks you to eat and collect toys, what you said is different from what you do. If you can do it again, you won’t let your mother feel that you are lying to me. Then discuss how this can be solved, and the child will understand how to do it better next time.

Thank for forgiveness

The last step is thanking your child for forgiveness. Agree that the expression of each other when you are angry can not hurt yourself and others. Do not casually lose your temper, and express your emotions and thoughts in an appropriate manner.