In the world of parenting, praising children is an art form. Many parents like to use the phrase “You are the best!” to encourage their children. While such praise can temporarily boost a child’s self-confidence, in the long run, it may bring some negative effects.

Psychological research shows that overly general and exaggerated praise may foster a self-centered attitude in children, hindering their development of accurate self-awareness and social skills.

So, as parents, how should we properly praise our children? Here, I will combine parenting knowledge with real-life emotional scenarios to introduce three more effective ways to praise.

1. Specific and Detailed Praise

Imagine your child has just finished a beautiful painting. When you walk into the room and see their artwork, how would you praise them? If you say, “Wow, you’re such a good painter, you’re the best painter!” such praise, while encouraging, may not be specific enough.

A better approach is to look closely at your child’s drawing and say, “Look at the color of the sky, it’s a great choice and feels very peaceful. And this house, the lines are so smooth, it’s really creative!”

This type of praise is specific and detailed, helping the child understand exactly what they did well, which in turn motivates them to improve their skills.

Another example: if your child took the initiative to help pick up toys today, you could say, “You took the initiative to pick up the toys today; that was very thoughtful of you. Your actions make me happy and help take the burden off me.”

This kind of praise not only helps the child understand what they are being praised for but also reinforces that their behavior is right and worthy of encouragement.

2. Emphasize Your Child’s Efforts and Progress

In a child’s development, effort is more important than results. Therefore, when we praise our children, we should focus more on their efforts rather than just the outcomes.

For example, let’s say your child recently learned to ride a bike after several attempts. At this point, you could say, “I see that you really worked hard, tried again and again, and didn’t give up. Your perseverance is truly impressive! Now that you have learned to ride a bike, it’s the result of your hard work.”

This type of praise teaches children that success comes from hard work, not just talent or luck.

Often, children’s achievements and progress are not made overnight but require a lot of effort and dedication. Therefore, when we praise children, we should emphasize their efforts and progress.

3. Focus on Process Praise

In addition to emphasizing effort, we can also praise children by focusing on their performance in completing tasks. For example, let’s say your child participated in a math competition. Although they did not win the championship, they demonstrated strong thinking skills and teamwork during the competition.

You could say, “I noticed how attentive you were during the competition, thinking carefully and offering to help your teammates solve problems. Your performance was truly great! I’m sure you will achieve even better results in future competitions.” This kind of praise helps the child understand that the process is equally important and that their hard work is recognized.

In the actual parenting process, we can combine the above three ways of praise to encourage children. Using specific and detailed praise to affirm the child’s efforts and achievements helps the child understand their strengths and weaknesses, allowing them to improve more effectively.

At the same time, this method of praise helps children feel our love and support, fostering a healthier parent-child relationship.

Additionally, we need to pay attention to the timing and frequency of praise. Praising too frequently may lead children to develop a dependency, thinking that they are only valuable when praised. Therefore, we should give children appropriate praise at critical moments, allowing them to feel their growth and progress.

4. Encourage Your Child to Continue Exploring and Experimenting

While praising our children, we should encourage them to continue exploring and experimenting. Children’s curiosity and desire to learn are boundless, and they need to constantly try new things and challenge themselves.

We can say, “You were really brave to try this new game/toy/activity today. Although it was difficult at first, you didn’t give up and kept trying. I believe you will become more skilled and excellent in the future!” This kind of praise not only makes the child feel affirmed and encouraged, but also inspires their desire to continue exploring and trying new things.

By using these four methods of praise, we can more effectively motivate children, helping them face challenges in life and learning with confidence and positivity. Additionally, these praise techniques can help children establish a correct self-concept and values, enabling them to understand their own strengths and weaknesses and develop more comprehensively.

Final Words

Finally, I want to say that praising children is not an end, but a means. Our aim is to inspire children and guide their growth through praise. Therefore, when praising children, we should pay attention to the ways and methods used. Avoid excessive exaggeration and general praise, and instead give targeted praise based on specific behaviors, efforts, and progress.

By doing so, our praise can genuinely encourage and guide children, helping them grow up healthily. This approach will make them more determined and confident on their journey of growth.