The true early education teacher for your child can only be you, the parents.

As children grow, every stage presents unique characteristics and challenges. Many parents feel confused and overwhelmed when their child enters the so-called “terrible twos.” Kids at this stage often exhibit a strong sense of self-awareness and defiance. They begin to have their own ideas and desires and are no longer as compliant as they used to be.
In response, many parents might initially try to guide their child by reasoning with them, but this often proves ineffective. So, how should parents handle the “terrible twos”?

Understanding the Terrible Twos

First, it’s essential to understand that the “terrible twos” is not the child’s fault; it’s a natural phase of their growth. During this time, their bodies and brains are rapidly developing, and they are gradually building their cognitive and emotional worlds. As a result, their behaviors are often uncertain and unstable, which doesn’t mean they are acting out intentionally.

How Should Parents Respond?

1. Stay Patient and Calm

When your child shows disobedient or defiant behavior, the first step is to remain patient and calm. Don’t get overly excited or angry, as this will make your child feel afraid and anxious, exacerbating their defiant emotions. Instead, keep a peaceful mindset and face your child’s behavior with understanding and acceptance.

2. Avoid Direct Confrontation

When conflicts arise between you and your child, avoid direct confrontation. Don’t try to force or threaten them into submission, as this will only lead to more resentment and rebellion. Instead, look for gentler and more indirect ways to guide your child. For example, you can offer choices and give them some autonomy, making them feel respected and trusted.

3. Communicate with Emotion

During the “terrible twos,” children’s emotional worlds develop rapidly. They start to have their own feelings and emotions, often expressed very directly and intensely. Therefore, parents should focus on emotional communication with their child. Use warm and kind language and attitudes, making the child feel your care and support. Respect their emotional expressions and don’t dismiss or ignore their feelings lightly.

4. Set Clear Rules and Boundaries

While avoiding direct confrontation or forcing the child into submission, it doesn’t mean letting them do whatever they want. Instead, parents should set clear and reasonable rules and boundaries. These should be understandable and enforceable, and the child should understand their reasons and significance. Consistently enforce these rules in daily life, helping your child gradually develop a habit of following them.

5. Give Sufficient Attention and Companionship

During the “terrible twos,” children need more attention and companionship. Parents should spend as much time as possible playing, learning, and exploring new things with their child. In doing so, be attentive to your child’s needs and feelings, offering help and support promptly. Make your child feel your love and warmth, helping them understand they are valued and cherished.

The art of parenting involves managing your own emotions and nurturing your child’s emotional well-being.

As Mark Twain once said, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

Your child is, after all, just a child. The harsh words that once made you furious will eventually dissolve in the selfless love and education from parents. Only by understanding and patience can we help our children through these challenging phases and ensure they grow up healthily and happily.