Parents usually take the initiative to do things for their child. For example, if their child wakes up late, she will quickly help him/her dress and get ready for the day. The child will sense anxiety as his/her mother hurries through their routine. If the child moves slowly and does not cooperate with the hurriedness of the situation, it is most likely to cause irritability on the mother’s part. If things like this happen over and over again, the mother will the source of the child’s motivation and frustrations. This won’t necessarily be as big of a problem in the short-term, but when the child becomes an adult, he/she will have problems of letting go.

As children grow older, they take on more and more responsibilities. Parents take big steps to do things for the children. For example, the child mentioned above is not willing to get up. If your child is late, let him/her experience the consequences of being late. These consequences may include going to the kindergarten while all of the other children have already finished playing or being reprimanded by the teacher. Next time you are running behind schedule, your child will know to hurry so he/she will be on time.

This kind of coercion doesn’t let your child live his/her own life. Unable to try a unique life course, the child’s cognitive development and accumulation of experience will be hindered. With constant help and care, children are becoming less independent, and therefore, less prepared for their future. The ‘help’ weakens the child’s ability to work. It is the knife that cuts the wings of your children’s flight in the future. Children who are over-cared for often have no sense of responsibility, no ability to undertake tasks, and lack of strength and motivation to do things. This is a problem. These skills are essential to the world we live in today and will be more useful in the future, as technology advances. Creativity is critical. You may not realize it, but your child’s responsibility is indirectly linked to his/her creativity. These are two very important traits.

So how do you develop a responsible child?

(1) Moderately let go

This process of letting go is very difficult. Parents are naturally accustomed to relying on their own experience and always worry that their children won’t do well on their own. Parents need to let go, let their children take responsibility, and let the children do what they can. Otherwise, their children will never have the opportunity to have a little taste of freedom and accumulate their own life experiences.

(2) Let children choose their own path

Let your child decide for him/herself. If your child insists on doing what he/she wants, you should just accept that. For example, if your child refuses to wear another layer of clothing on a particularly cold day and he/she refuses. At this time, parents need to accept the child’s decision not to wear more clothing and let him/her experience the natural consequences. If your child does not listen to your advice, there will be two outcomes. The first is that your child is ill. The second situation is where your child gets cold and feels regretful about his/her poor decisions. Your child will experience and reflect, feel the discomfort caused by the weather changes. This is the conclusion that your child has reached through personal experience, so he/she will be willing to follow your advice and take responsibility for his/her health the next time.

(3) Give the child some space and time; allow the child to experience

If your child is sick because of not wearing enough, and he/she feels more affected by health, may have nasal congestion, sneezing, runny nose, and a sore throat. You should take care of the child, give him/her warm water, let him/her rest well, and restore their energy levels as soon as possible. At this time, avoid saying, “I reminded you many times, but you just don’t listen!”

Such words will make your child feel guilty. In the process, the child will feel lost, depressed and unaccepted. This will create psychological distrust towards their parents and produce defenses, which will deteriorate relationships.

(4) Understand what annoys your child

When children are in trouble or things are messed up, they are very lost and annoyed. At this time, parents need to sympathize. Parents should understand the discomfort and frustration from the child’s point of view. They can say to the child, “I know it’s hard and you don’t want to go through this. Can we find a way to solve this problem together?” Parents’ tolerance and understanding will make the children’s feelings of loss more tolerable. Smaller children also need parental hugs to comfort, then we will discuss the solution with the children, they will actively participate and perform and are interested in solving problems. Developing a child’s sense of responsibility requires the child to be responsible for his or her actions and to regulate and manage their emotions.

(5) Brainstorming with children to find solutions

After the child calms down, ask them what they could do better next time. When children think of these methods, be sure to enforce them, but not too strictly or harshly. At the same time, from these thoughts, let the children choose his favorite and the best way to do it. This makes the child understand that the problem is not a roadblock, but rather, an open door to learning and opportunity.

Every experience of pain is the opportunity for children to reflect and grow. Parents need to put more trust in their children and let them be freer. When children feel trust, sympathy, and respect from their parents, they will learn to be responsible for themselves. This process allows the child to understand, create intellectual problems and strong qualities in tempering, thus developing a sense of responsibility.